sometimes you're faced with a decision. sometimes you wonder if you have nothing to say or you just don't know how to say it. they both add up to about the same thing: saying nothing.

there's been a few things on my back burner for a while, now. i guess i'll go ahead and try to make sense of them here.

i had a huge disagreement with a friend, the other night. this is the person i consider my best friend. needless to say, this disagreement isn't sitting well with me. this person and i used to be about as close as two individuals can be, we hung out all the time and had more adventures and misadventures than anyone really has any rights to. then he went away for two years on a trip that i didn't wholly agree with. that's all fine and dandy, i guess. i got over it. no big deal. he's back now, right? well…maybe it's not so fine and dandy, anymore. i've noticed subtle shifts in both of our personalities since he's been back that seem to have been lending themselves to bigger and bigger disagreements over the past few months.

my very biased position: he seems to know what's best for me, even if i don't agree. his opinion should matter the world to me, in his eyes, and i should follow some of his advice to the letter. when we get into arguments, when i go to stand up for myself, i'm being "defensive." well…you're damn right i'm being defensive. you attack me, my feelings, or my thought process…you better expect me to defend myself. it's natural, right?

i guess the point of this is…we've both changed more than we really care to admit, over the past two years. some things have changed for the better, some for the worst. both of us have had a very eventful couple of years that are obviously showing their impact. the real question of the matter is whether or not we'll both be able to recognize this fact and work through it before it's too late.

and yeah…then you have your standard girl problems. but i tell ya what…my girl problems tend to be fairly non-standard.

oh well…time to regroup. time to gather the thoughts and hope things work out the way i want them to…on all fronts.