saturday night i ended up sitting alone at the counter of the diner down the road from my house until about 2am. on my way home from the movie, i decided to stop off at the record store and pick up that new jimmy eat world record. i rode around for a while, listening to it (the first two tracks are awesome. track 8 has a straight metallica riff in it) and trying to clear my head. i stopped off for coffee and ended up wandering up and down bardstown road. it was a beautiful fall night and there were quite a few people out. cute girls in their fall sweaters, groups of friends wandering from bar to bar…the perfect night to wind out september.

i've realized lately that i'm a social retard. i see lots of people that i'd love to say hi to, just start a conversation, but i somehow defeat myself before the first word ever clears my throat. i think "i have nothing to say to this person…no opening," and so i just say…nothing. so i wandered around, winding up back in front of my house. i climbed in the car and drove down to the twig, which is where i pretty much spent the remainder of the evening. grilled cheese and a coke.

and then i went home and went to bed.

last night i dreamt about her. it was a strange dream that i don't quite remember, but the scariest part about it is the fact that i woke up with that song "cottoneye joe" stuck in my head. as i stood in the mirror, brushing my teeth, i thought "man…whatever i'm doing before i head off to sleep…i need to stop."

probably a good plan.