yesterday i was happy. i found out i'd finally be getting rid of "chicken fingers," the third shift guy that liked to rub all over the monitor and leave greasy tracks in his wake. every morning i would have to come in and clean the monitor (and desk…he left crumbs of unknown origin behind) and then i could get on with my day. so i was happy. i was done with him. he was forever banished from my desk. can i get an amen? so i ask the new incoming third shift lead when the last member of his team toddles in. he says 6pm. seeing as i don't leave until 8 or 9 every night, i'm safe.

and then i came in this morning to find a gayass pink robot sitting on my desk. someone went to a store, passed up the badass black robot, and maybe even a really cool silver or blue one…and chose a pink one. a pink robot. apparently i have someone new sitting at my desk in the after hours. this is certainly not a good development. let's run down the list of the new guy's (we'll call him "pink robot dude") offenses:

there is now a pink robot sitting on my desk. this should be enough…
there is also an empty cologne box, of suspected "sentimental" value. i was worried that this guy was concerned about smelling good for all the third shift ladies (or dudes, if the pink robot has anything to say about it)…
he moved skull ball. don't fuck with skull ball.
worst of all?
he changed my monitor resolution and fucked with all the settings. you don't fuck with a man's monitor settings. at least chicken fingers knew better…

as you can see…i'm off to a horrid start…