thanksgiving. the first of the big year-end holidays. the milemarker for the always famous "year-end depression." i'm sitting at work, right now. thanksgiving. work. i'm not here to actually "work," mind you. i just came in to check my email and grab a little free food. it's kind of a downer when you have to go to your workplace, the place you dream of escaping all through the week, to get a holiday dinner. it's not like i couldn't have gone to the store and picked up some bread and turkey slices…but…it's not a meal that should be eaten alone. it's one of those things that we're brought up spending with family and close friends. loved ones of all sorts.

today i sat across a breakroom table from a co-worker that i tend to cut up with quite a bit. he was talking about going to see some girl he met on the internet. i told him "that cup is poison, my friend." he laughed. that was about the end of that conversation.

i'm invited to go to "her" house later this afternoon. i think i've silently agreed to go by telling her to call me when they're going to be having dinner. it's weird. i like her a lot, but after a few weeks of dating, we're not really "together" anymore. this seems to happen to me a lot. this time i know it had nothing to do with me, thank god. she ended a three year relationship less than six months ago. she doesn't know if she's prepared for something serious, at this point. i'm wondering if it'll be weird…i've only met her parents once and it looks like today i'll be surrounded by the extended family. she invited me saying "no one should spend thanksgiving alone."

i'm thankful for my health. i'm thankful for my friends, some of whom i'm not even speaking to, these days. i'm thankful that i have a job that pays me decently for very little actual work. i'm thankful to have someone like "her" in my life, whether we're actually together or not.

and i'm thankful that i won't be spending the holiday alone.