I've actually been managing to stay somewhat consistently productive lately, not like the lethargy of days and months past. I've been writing a bit, designed a couple flyers for the upcoming Lucifigous Prick show (see below), and last night updated the LP website itself. not to mention that i've made a few posts in the space of a week…

anyway, i think i'm starting to reach the point where i'm realizing that i'm only busy if i'm actually accomplishing something–making headway. i can frown and fret about how little time i have to do all the things i want, but if i let that stop me from doing *anything* then it's even worse. perhaps, if i can keep this activity on the build for a while, i might get to the point where i'll start getting out of the house more, have some adventures, meet some girls. 'cause we know that's what it's really all about.

today i'm dealing with some crazy crick in my neck. i'm in horrible pain. can barely move my head. it really really sucks.
neck pain is one of my two least favorite forms of pain. abdominal pain (the sudden sharp severe gas pain) is number one. neck pain is number two. at least right now it is. i hate it hate it hate it.

but enough about that, here are those flyers:

(click for printable .pdf versions)

if you're in Louisville on July 5th, be sure to come out to the Rud by 10:00 PM to see us very nervously play our first gig. if you'd like to hear what we sound like before you decide to come out (always a wise decision) download & listen to our demo tracks.

oh, and lest i forget, our friend neil was kind enough to come to our practice on Sunday and take an ass-load of photos of us playing and hanging out, so hopefully we'll have some good pics up on the site within the next week. assuming there are any pictures we're willing to let the public see…

ok. i've really gotta get out of this place and get home. but before i do, i just had to post this little image that a co-worker whipped up for me (and several other co-workers). i tell ya, i just about died when i saw it.

he told me that there was a little flash app somewhere out there that was like the storTroopers thing, in that you can take all these South Parkish components and build your own characters. of course, he forgot what the link was. i'll try to find it a little later tonight and update this post, but if any of you industrious fucks decide that you wanna help daddy matt, feel free to include the link in a comment to this post (or in an email to me, whatever floats your boat.)

** update ** steve kurp was gracious enough to provide the link to the south park character builder for us. check his comment for a link to a powerpuff girls character builder.

man, animals can be so pitiful when you have doctors do mean nasty things to their bodies.

we finally managed to get our two kittens (not kittens anymore i guess, they're over a year old now…) into the vet on Monday to have their child birthing equipment forcibly removed. a good friend of ours (who happens to work at the vet's office) was kind enough to come pick them up from the house, then to bring them back to us the next day. man, when they got home… they were just pitiful. laying around, barely moving all day. of course, if someone had ripped out *my* uterus (a difficult task, to be sure, seeing how i don't have one in the first place.) i would probably be walking gingerly for a few days, if i bothered to walk at all.
they're starting to get better and better now, moving around a bit more, climbing stairs to hang out with their three dads. they seem to be pretty good about not licking their sutures too much, and they are eating healthily again. as brax has said on multiple occasions, it will be nice to see them back to their old mischievous selves again.

i guess it's been about two weeks ago now, but we recently came into possession of a vintage Galaga arcade machine. how awesome is it to be able to come home, walk into the foyer, and jump right into a game (or six) of Galaga without having to drop quarters into the machine? well, let me tell ya, it's pretty awesome. of course, i completely suck at the game. i've gotten a little better since we got it, but i'm still not breaking the 90,000 point barrier. of course, i've also gotten to the point where if i lose a ship in the first four rounds, i just let myself get killed and start over.

our friend Jess has finally gotten engaged to her longtime beau, and they've now moved to Texas. it seems weird for her to not be around, despite the fact that we haven't really hung out with her much since we all moved out of the old place (brian's current place). when she was still in town, it was always acceptable to not see her, partly because we knew we could call her up if we were doing something, and have her join us. with that no longer being an option… well, i tend to realize more that she's not around.

and with her gone, our "family" now has only one female member remaning. it used to be that i couldn't count the number of girls hanging out with us on a regular basis with two hands. it's a very different existence when you don't have that special female "energy" around. to top that off, we're down to only one female at my workplace as well… the yin energy is slowly being siphoned out of my life. in six months i'll be a truly desperate, depraved charicature of myself if we don't get an influx real soon. it's a good thing i don't have any "whore money" to throw around… it's all gotta go towards rent & bills & silly shit like that.

perhaps i should just try to get out more.

well well. paul has finally delivered a piece of the puzzle that is my next poetry book. i had commissioned him… must have been two years ago… to write up a nice introduction to my second volume of poetry (since he'd had the honor of doing the cover for the first one). well, in a flash of inspiration today, he completed that task, and did a fine job. so, for multiple reasons, i'm going to let you guys be the first to read it!

there comes a time in the lives of most young adults when the pangs of emotional confusion run headlong into artistic cathartic bliss. the resulting carcass from this car wreck of a creative process lies there and begs us to stare. not that i'm equating the writings presented here as being that of roadkill stench nor am i making a statement about the writer's technique in developing his work. my point is simply this: angst + outlet = art (and believe me, art – outlet = angst). and sometimes this process happens violently and without warning.

paul steven brown
june 4, 2002

now i just need to get off my ass and finish pulling the book together. if anyone wants to contribute artwork, send me some samples and i'll send you some poetry to work from.

well, not much has been happening, i'd have to say. busy at work, busy at home. i finally managed to finish entering about 3 months worth of comics into OmniComics (that's about a 2 ft. high stack.) got them all entered, bagged & boarded, and now sorted into their appropriate boxes.

and wednesday night i cleaned my room. doesn't sound like much, but if you consider that i hadn't vacuumed the carpet since i moved in… over a year ago… you might understand why it's a "big deal."

of course, our cats are constantly in heat, rolling around, and shedding like crazy since it's summer, so my nice black sheets & comforter are already caked in cat hair. good thing i never have to worry about entertaining female guests. har.

today has been a bit on the depressing side… i took my car into the shop yesterday (saturday, today being sunday of course) expecting to have about $275 worth of work done. got a call earlier today from the place and they informed me of all the other things that are wrong with the car and how they "need" to be fixed immediately. so, now the total for the repairs will be closer to the $700 mark, and i've realized that i've made a huge mistake.

doesn't sound like much, but if you consider that i've had a pretty good run of luck most of my life (big decisions wise, anyway–never having made a "really bad" one, or at least not many)… you might realize why it's a "big deal."

i decided a while back (you all remember the ongoing "new car" debate, right? right?… anyone?) that i would not get a new car, would, in fact, fix my Tercel run it for another year until i can save up some scratch for a downpayment, and everything'll be hunky dory. i knew going into that decision that there was some work to be done… brake pads, axle replacement, possible engine trouble to overcome… well, now out of the gate i've spent yet another $800 on the damn car. (just spent $800 three months ago-ish getting the clutch replaced)… so now i'm $1500 additional dollars into the car since the beginning of the year. i realized today that this decision was a mistake, and thinking about the consequences of making this mistake has gotten me a bit depressed. i don't like making mistakes. little mistakes, maybe, but not life-impacting mistakes. i don't like it one bit.

couldn't get ahold of Jim tonight to get a ride to band-practice, and brax had errands to run and work to do Tuesday night, so we've effectively just missed a week of practice four weeks before our first show… bleh.

bleh. bleh. bleh.

time for bed.