I've actually been managing to stay somewhat consistently productive lately, not like the lethargy of days and months past. I've been writing a bit, designed a couple flyers for the upcoming Lucifigous Prick show (see below), and last night updated the LP website itself. not to mention that i've made a few posts in the space of a week…

anyway, i think i'm starting to reach the point where i'm realizing that i'm only busy if i'm actually accomplishing something–making headway. i can frown and fret about how little time i have to do all the things i want, but if i let that stop me from doing *anything* then it's even worse. perhaps, if i can keep this activity on the build for a while, i might get to the point where i'll start getting out of the house more, have some adventures, meet some girls. 'cause we know that's what it's really all about.

today i'm dealing with some crazy crick in my neck. i'm in horrible pain. can barely move my head. it really really sucks.
neck pain is one of my two least favorite forms of pain. abdominal pain (the sudden sharp severe gas pain) is number one. neck pain is number two. at least right now it is. i hate it hate it hate it.

but enough about that, here are those flyers:

(click for printable .pdf versions)

if you're in Louisville on July 5th, be sure to come out to the Rud by 10:00 PM to see us very nervously play our first gig. if you'd like to hear what we sound like before you decide to come out (always a wise decision) download & listen to our demo tracks.

oh, and lest i forget, our friend neil was kind enough to come to our practice on Sunday and take an ass-load of photos of us playing and hanging out, so hopefully we'll have some good pics up on the site within the next week. assuming there are any pictures we're willing to let the public see…

well well. paul has finally delivered a piece of the puzzle that is my next poetry book. i had commissioned him… must have been two years ago… to write up a nice introduction to my second volume of poetry (since he'd had the honor of doing the cover for the first one). well, in a flash of inspiration today, he completed that task, and did a fine job. so, for multiple reasons, i'm going to let you guys be the first to read it!

there comes a time in the lives of most young adults when the pangs of emotional confusion run headlong into artistic cathartic bliss. the resulting carcass from this car wreck of a creative process lies there and begs us to stare. not that i'm equating the writings presented here as being that of roadkill stench nor am i making a statement about the writer's technique in developing his work. my point is simply this: angst + outlet = art (and believe me, art – outlet = angst). and sometimes this process happens violently and without warning.

paul steven brown
june 4, 2002

now i just need to get off my ass and finish pulling the book together. if anyone wants to contribute artwork, send me some samples and i'll send you some poetry to work from.

well, not much has been happening, i'd have to say. busy at work, busy at home. i finally managed to finish entering about 3 months worth of comics into OmniComics (that's about a 2 ft. high stack.) got them all entered, bagged & boarded, and now sorted into their appropriate boxes.

and wednesday night i cleaned my room. doesn't sound like much, but if you consider that i hadn't vacuumed the carpet since i moved in… over a year ago… you might understand why it's a "big deal."

of course, our cats are constantly in heat, rolling around, and shedding like crazy since it's summer, so my nice black sheets & comforter are already caked in cat hair. good thing i never have to worry about entertaining female guests. har.

today has been a bit on the depressing side… i took my car into the shop yesterday (saturday, today being sunday of course) expecting to have about $275 worth of work done. got a call earlier today from the place and they informed me of all the other things that are wrong with the car and how they "need" to be fixed immediately. so, now the total for the repairs will be closer to the $700 mark, and i've realized that i've made a huge mistake.

doesn't sound like much, but if you consider that i've had a pretty good run of luck most of my life (big decisions wise, anyway–never having made a "really bad" one, or at least not many)… you might realize why it's a "big deal."

i decided a while back (you all remember the ongoing "new car" debate, right? right?… anyone?) that i would not get a new car, would, in fact, fix my Tercel run it for another year until i can save up some scratch for a downpayment, and everything'll be hunky dory. i knew going into that decision that there was some work to be done… brake pads, axle replacement, possible engine trouble to overcome… well, now out of the gate i've spent yet another $800 on the damn car. (just spent $800 three months ago-ish getting the clutch replaced)… so now i'm $1500 additional dollars into the car since the beginning of the year. i realized today that this decision was a mistake, and thinking about the consequences of making this mistake has gotten me a bit depressed. i don't like making mistakes. little mistakes, maybe, but not life-impacting mistakes. i don't like it one bit.

couldn't get ahold of Jim tonight to get a ride to band-practice, and brax had errands to run and work to do Tuesday night, so we've effectively just missed a week of practice four weeks before our first show… bleh.

bleh. bleh. bleh.

time for bed.

er, well, how 'bout an easy way to look up the meaning of "life"? i've been working on a bookmarklet for dictionary.com word lookups (a bit on Friday, and a little more today), and have finally gotten the kinks worked out. since Microsoft refuses to do things according to established standards, i had a bugger of a time getting this thing to work in IE (had it up & running in Mozilla in about 5 minutes). but, it does work in both browsers now–and Netscape 4.75! oh, and if anyone is willing to test this on a Mac, please let me know how it works.

anyway, on to the thingy.

Lookup

to "install" this, just follow your normal routines for adding a link to your bookmarks/toolbar–either just drag it up there and drop it on your toolbar, or do the right-click "add bookmark" thing.

Now, the beauty of this beast is that you can (on a non-frames-based page–it won't work on bipolar…) use your mouse to select any word (or words) you like, click this bookmark, and voila!–a page pops up with the dictionary.com definition of the selected text.

enjoy!

*update*: of course, silly me did not think to check dictionary.com's site to see if they already had a bookmarklet, so, of course they do. but, on the bright side, mine is much more functional than theirs, so–nyah nyah!

plus, i've gone ahead and incorporated their little "enter a word to lookup" thing into mine, so now, if you don't select any text, you'll get a popup box asking you to input a word (this is great if you need to look up a word from a frames-based page). then, if you still don't enter a word (i.e. you hit "cancel") you won't be directed to the site at all… it'll be as if you never clicked the bookmark in the first place (except that you'll be a few seconds older). if anyone would rather have the option of still getting a dictionary.com window (even if you don't enter a word in the pop-up) let me know and i can fix it to do that as well.

if you grabbed the bookmark between 11:56 and 1:00 PM, be sure to grab it again, so you can enjoy the new functionality.

ok. i've now officially wasted enough time.

well, with all this excitement here around ye olde bipolar, coupled with Nathan's constant whining about my lack of posts, i guess i better jump on this crazy train or be left forever behind.

of course, the big problem with having a weblog is having a consistent stream of interesting tidbits to post about, but since i don't have that in my life currently, i guess i'll just have to post about some really stupid shit until something better comes along or i get some groundbreaking idea that will shake the foundations of our society.

anyway, so, i've finally started playing the game i bought about a month ago, and i've been enjoying it. yet another game that promises to suck away what little life i currently live. yay!

today i finally started pulling together some packaging ideas for our demo (don't wanna go handing out unprofessional demo CDs, now, do we?), and as soon as i get something finalized i'll probably post some images for you all to see.

and since brian's off in rock-star land, i guess i should mention that i enjoyed the show on Friday, and, like Paul, i was happy for brian that he did well.

oh, and the June 4th show may be on again… right now it's tentative, but we're planning on having a show with us, Old Man (the puffin's band), and Telavet. we'll keep you posted.

that's it. that's all i've got. if i think of anything else, especially anything that might be interesting, i'll be sure to let you know.

well, i've had enough "free" time the last couple days to get some of the photos–from the trip brian & i took to Romulus–scanned in and fiddled with, so i figured i'd post 'em here for you guys.

our intrepid romulan commander, brian, with his (self-described) "crazy brian beard."

the only pics i got of the actual show were a few of Hey Mercedes, and unfortunately most of 'em weren't that great… i really need to learn how to use that camera better before i go on trips like this. anyway, on to the photos.

and finally, just for fun, a shot from a recent photo shoot with the Lucifigous Prick mascot–Stupor The Skeleton. this is a rare action photo, capturing his innate vitality and charisma.

my god. so, my life was completely disrupted for about a week & a half there. this huge project finally got pulled together enough for development to start, and because of the way things had fallen apart during the planning stages, we were left with only 2 weeks to completely build this 90+ page site. needless to say, i spent about a week pulling 10 – 12 hour shifts including one on a Saturday. but we pulled it off. got shit done, so to speak. the bosses better damn well be happy. and it had better not happen again.

so, i've spent this weekend that we're just coming out of basically doing all i could to avoid the computer. and i slept a good amount. amazing not as much as i do on some weekend days but i also didn't drink as much as i do on some weekends, which is a bit strange in and of itself.

around here, it would seem that spring has finally sprung… straight out the door. maybe i'm just not remembering it correctly, but i recall spring being a time of year where everything was pretty well in balance… temperature, humidity, sunlight/moonlight. and it's been pretty decent temperature wise, but it's been raining like a bitch and humid as hell. pretty much the only thing i dislike about Louisville is the damned humidity… i think we've covered this topic before. i don't mind heat, i don't mind cold, but i can't freaking stand humidity.

anyway, the big project is essentially complete now, so i should have my nights back now. hopefully that'll mean that i'll start doing all sorts of neat stuff that i can write about here.
speaking of doing neat stuff, it would appear that, with the limited votes my task-list received (thanks to those that contributed), the next thing i'm going to have to devote time to is the screenplay. also, it would seem that Lucifigous Prick have a semi-official first-show date–June 4th. so, if you listened to the available demo tracks and were even remotely interested, make plans to come see us at the Rud that night. one way or the other, it'll be a night to remember.

ok. so, my car is fucked right now. apparently the clutch has pissed off the engine and now they're just not communicating. i think they're at the note-passing, or speaking through friends phase, but things aren't looking all rosy in oil & piston land.

anyway, i've got work to do, but i wanted to post an update real quick-like. first off, the assistance that you've given has been invaluable regarding exactly what the hell i should be doing with my time. we've got a winner so far, but i'd love to see some more votes to really drive the point home (yes, of course, i haven't done any work on any of these projects yet, but my computer's been being a bitch lately as well–seems like the things i own always have a bad habit of breaking down at the same times.) anyway, on to the vote:

votes   project
_1__ finish 2nd poetry book
____ finish & submit short story(/stories)
____ write new poems
_3__ write screenplay
_2__ continue working on novel
_1__ redesign coffeemonk.com
____ design separate myfavoritemartyr.com
____ today/tomorrow mixed 2 CD set
____ mixed cover songs CD
____ learn to play bass for Old Man
_1__ put together (personal) media server
_1__ design new bipolar theme
_1__ finish playing computer games i'm in the middle of
____ put unboxed comics in boxes

so, there's that. please feel free to comment on this post to cast your vote as to which project i should work on/attempt to complete first. those of you who have already voted from the first post, you can vote again. just 'cause i'm nice.

we had our band practice last night, got a little bit done, so it looks like our demo should be officially ready this coming sunday. we're crossing our fingers. once that's done and distributed, then you guys can all come and see us play (assuming we can convince any club owners to let us set up a show). but now, the moment at least two of you have been waiting for (which two, i'm not sure, but there's gotta be at least two of ya.)

the first (public) Lucifigous Prick pre-demo mp3 release
The Wrath of Orson (mp3, 10.8MB, 11:26)

enjoy. and feel free to let me know what you think.

well, tonight I went out to the bar (which was a big surprise to brian, since i'd told him about an hour earlier that i wasn't interested) with paul, neil, & lisa, and we met up with brian there and hung out for a bit. at some point, i ordered a large sampler (mmm… sampler platter) only to come back to the table and find that neil & lisa were pretty much already on their way out the door. well, not that that really matters, 'cause between a hungry brian, a semi-hungry me, and a not-really-hungry but unable-to-resist-the-sampler paul, we finished the thing off without much trouble. shortly before the last morsels were yanked by greedy hands from the platter, brad and dave came over to join us. paul offered brad a won-ton, and brad's first reaction was to ask me which of the many sauces went best with them. (of course, the answer is "honey-mustard") brad then proceeded to dub me the "king of condiments," a declaration he even repeated later when his girlfriend joined us. so, apparently, either through pure obsessive behavior or a history of good advice, i am, at least in our little circle, the King of Condiments. thank you. you may rise.

another thing i've realized though, is that i could be in the running for a totally unrelated title. i'm pretty sure i could make a strong showing in a contest for the "king of work avoidance." not that i avoid doing the work i get paid to do, that is, not my actual job job. but my god, when i get home, there are literally 10 to 15 things i could be doing at any given moment. 10 – 15 projects i've started that i really need to finish. and what do i do? well, of course, as i recently explained to paul & brax, i've only got two weekday nights that are really worth anything–personal project-wise. Tuesday is band practice night (band-practice from ~7:30 to 11:00pm). Wednesday is geek night (trip to comics store, dinner at Denny's, then Enterprise at 8:00pm, and DS9 at 10:00pm). Friday is… Friday. That's socialization day. Friday is the day matt comes down from the mountain to carouse with friends and other assorted real living people. Friday is the night (typically–unlike tonight, which was an aberration) where matt goes to the bar to look at the few hot girls and (as noted in another post) not speak to any of them. Saturday is much more open, and should be the day where i get all kinds of shit done, but it is usually the day where i sleep a whole lot, then laze around the house. Sunday's another sleep day, and then also another band practice day, which accounts for at least 14 hours. So, i'm left with Monday & Thursday after work, and whatever hours & can squeeze out of Saturday & Sunday to accommodate all those things that i need to do. Needless to say, not a whole lot is accomplished usually.

I have to say though, that this past week/weekend has been pretty decent so far. on thursday, i went out to the hardware store and picked up this neat toolbox and some other bits & bobs, and constructed (what will be) a nice guitar effects pedalboard. so, i had quite the productive day on Thursday. today, after doing the normal saturday sleeping 'til 4 after a night at the bar thing, and lazing for a couple good hours once i got up, i actually managed to do a few productive things. i got the velcro strips placed on the plywood base for the pedalboard, broke out the guitar for 30 – 45 minutes and played around, then checked email for a little bit. oh, and i also sketched out some ideas that i had for a logo for My Favorite Martyr (no, it's not just you, that site is so horribly out of date, it's almost funny again. BUT! it does have the first mention of Old Man–paul & neil's band–on the web!), and for a flyer design for Old Man (which i was going to try to mock up & post, but i haven't been able to find any appropriate imagery yet). of course, there were several other things i needed to do (as i told brian when he asked about going to the bar), but after about an hour of sitting in front of the computer avoiding them, i realized it was a bit fruitless for the time being.

y'know, perhaps i'd get more done if i spent less time avoiding work and more time doing it. but my biggest problem has always been not so much finding things to do, as deciding between the things that i need to do. so, i'm going to ask for your help on this one. (realizing wholly that the majority of my pleas for public response have brought few in the past–but now that we have the comments system in place, perhaps that'll be different now…)

here's the list:

votes   project
_1__ finish 2nd poetry book
____ finish & submit short story(/stories)
____ write new poems
_3__ write screenplay
_2__ continue working on novel
____ redesign coffeemonk.com
____ design separate myfavoritemartyr.com
____ today/tomorrow mixed 2 CD set
____ mixed cover songs CD
____ learn to play bass for Old Man
_1__ put together (personal) media server
_1__ design new bipolar theme
____ finish playing computer games i'm in the middle of
____ put unboxed comics in boxes

and here's the plea: help! help me figure out which of these things i should attempt to do first. if you wanna go crazy, put the whole list in order of "importance." but at least tell me the one thing you think i should focus on until it's done. this is the struggle i'm presented with every time i enter the door to my house from work or being out on the town or whatever. and i've yet to reach a decision on my own. so, give me a hand. there are no prizes to be awarded, but if it's something that either exists or can be translated to the web-medium, i'll be sure to post it here first.

i've now been getting shit from all sides (er… well, from brian and nathan, anyway) to get off my ass and post. so here goes…

well the french project is done. i got all the lessons digitized, encoded, and burned to a disc, so now i can listen to it at work without having to drag my cassette player with me everywhere. at this point, i've just worked it into a playlist, set it on random and let it go. so i get my favorite music with french language instruction sprinkled in. i'd thought about trying to run two different music players… one for my music and the other for the language, and trying to get music & french at the same time, but i really don't think my poor machine at work can handle it. especially considering the usual heavy load it's working under. ah well, i think the current arrangement works well enough. now i just need to get off my ass and actually do the damned exercises the way they're supposed to be done, i.e. with concentration and determination. the whole "subliminal learning" thing doesn't really seem to have had any major impact on me.

we (that is, the band) have been playing around with our new recorder the last couple practices, and even the very first "practice" recording is 10,000 times better than what we achieved with that crappy old Tascam 4-track. once we get the hang of tracking out and mixing down songs, i think we'll have some damn good results. keep your eyes here, as we get good recordings, i'll probably upload a couple and link 'em so you guys can give me some feedback. in other band news, i think i may have a professional web designer creating a design for the new band site. my co-worker, proprietor of arteye.com, and all-around kick ass graphic designer Jason has offered to create something for us. quite frankly, i'm so excited i could just shit myself… but i'll try not to.

have you been watching enterprise? no? well, you should be. the new Trek is damned good. i'll be the first to admit that Jolene is very hot. but Jolene is only part, and a small part at that, that makes this show watchable. is it Trek? yes. is it good Trek? hell yes. is it good TV? hell fuckin yes. i can't stand 90% of what's on TV right now, and for about the past 3 years or so, i've hardly watched any tv, Trek included. well, this show has given me a new appreciation for the franchise. (and the fact that Paul watches DS9 like it's going out of style doesn't hurt either)
for a first season show, and a new cast of low-profile actors, this show really fuckin rocks. i would have to say this is probably the best, most consistently well-acted and well-written first season of any i've ever watched. these people have come to grips with their characters remarkably quickly, and there have been some great character development episodes that allowed them to do so. the most notable characters (and actors) thus far, in my opinion, are the doctor (dr. phlox), tucker (the engineer), and reed (the armory officer). of course, Scott Bakula is really good, the only reason he's not on my list is primarily because of the occasionally overly dramatic way he plays his character. he's gotten much better since the first episode, he's definitely becoming more comfortable with the character, but still at times his delivery of lines sounds more like he's reading them than speaking them "naturally." it sometimes feels too much like he's acting the part, not that he is that character.
to sum up this little geek fest here… if you're a Trek fan, you have to watch Enterprise–it's vying for the title of best all-around series in the franchise. if you're not a Trek fan, but you are a sci-fi fan, you should watch the show. if you're not a sci-fi fan at all, but you like good stories & characters (90210 watchers need not apply), then you really should check out at least an episode or two. and now's a good time too! there's a huge buzz surrounding next week's episode. all the actors involved are raving about it, fans are giddy with anticipation (mostly because of the actor's comments, i'm sure), and the episode preview did look very promising. (though, now that i'm thinking about it, i really hope this isn't the long rumored "Malcolm Comes Out of the Closet" episode…)

ok. i think that's enough for one post. i really need to get some better blogging habits… anybody out there have any to spare?