how has your life changed since the last time you've answered seven questions?
we got a kitten and named her seven questions. oh… wait… we named her coletta.
but can your cat really be as cool as clyde?
yeah, she watches tv when we do. it's pretty funny.

would you rather be a rock star, a movie star, a porn star, or the the star of a really cool mountain dew commercial? why?
i'd say movie star because i could still do acceptable projects on the side even after i was agent s. in "men in black III: aliens, dude, aliens." i don't think that too many major music stars have respectable side deals, porn stars change careers to do something without deep dicking, and i don't think you can get much cooler than a really cool mountain dew commercial, so my career would have met its premature peak.

what's the largest primate you'd be willing to carry around on your back for a week?
i think this is the answer where i say "your mom, and already have done it, bro!" and you punch me in the junk the next time i see you.

what's your favorite household cleaning product?
this powder that you sprinkle on the carpet and vacuum up… it makes that terrible orgy smell go away in a jiffy.

if you were taken prisoner by a bunch of retarded terrorists and forced to eat 16 lbs. of pop-ice, which flavor would you eat first and which would you save for last?
i think that i'd have a green one first and an orange one last, because i don't want to be stuck with the taste of those horrible pink ones in my mouth for very long.

what's the craziest thing that's ever gone down at the ice rink?
hm, there was one time when I wore a sash and a headband of police tape for five hours, had a contest to see who could hit the main office door (no one was in) with a roller hockey ball, and then, if memory serves, "had" to play ice hockey for about an hour to tear up the ice for a broomball group.

pick any question from a past "seven questions" to answer.
do all cops dress like mounties up there?
look brian, just 'cause i live in central illinois and you live in the "center of the known universe" (a.k.a. louisville) doesn't mean that i actually live in goddamn canada.
but yeah, for some reason, they all do dress up like mounties, or at least on mondays, which might be mountie monday. I don't know. damn fuzz.

[sebastian was the first person to be officially interviewed for seven questions. he still does new artillery, but it looks different now. so does he.]